This is going to be harder than I thought…

Hello [ni hao] Internet. It is a balmy 85° here in Yangling, China today and I think the sky is blue underneath the thick covering of smog. After moving our room, my roommate Jamie and I finally have internet connection, so because this blog post is late in coming here is a recap of my first few days in China:

·         A miserable 13 hour plane ride [but I did get to watch Frozen and all 3 movies in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy complements of United Airlines™]

·         An 11 hour ride from Beijing to Xi’an on a train that was a cross between the Hogwarts Express and an Army barrack. I got the pleasure of awkwardly sleeping on a bunk facing a random Chinese man for the majority of the journey

·         A trip to a wildlife sanctuary that had LOTS OF PANDAS [after we drove two hours in the wrong direction to a zoo that did NOT have pandas]

·         A walk around a Temple of Fortune that will apparently give me luck [so this should mean I will ace all of my classes second year]

·         An entire day spent in the awesome city of Xi’an where we toured the Bell and Drum towers that are centuries old and ate lamb soup in the Muslim Quarter

·         An 8+ mile bike ride on the Xi’an City wall that used to enclose the old city

·         3 uneventful days of Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine classes

So far China is everything and nothing like I expected.  There is some air pollution, but it is not nearly as bad as I expected. The locals stare and take pictures of you, but the Chinese Veterinary students we had the pleasure to spend time with have been absolutely wonderful [we bonded over Walking Dead and Game of Thrones]. The food has also been really good [except for that one time I ate these mushrooms that where shaped and disguised as noodles], but the day I figure out how to use chopsticks will be the day the Mets win another World Series. Thank God [or Buddha, or whatever] that our hotel room has a Western style toilet. The bathrooms in China are affectionately referred to as “Squatty Potties”, which means you squat over a hole in the ground and do your business. Its’ disgusting and I think I’ve pissed on my own leg more times on this trip than I ever did growing up [And did I forget to mention that bathrooms don’t provide toilet paper or soap? Because they don’t] and I will have to throw away my sneakers before or after I get home because I am sure I have stepped in more urine [amongst other things] than I care to admit.

Tomorrow we are heading back to Xi’an to see the world famous Terra Cotta Warrior Soldiers and do some more sight-seeing in Xi’an. Hopefully these blog posts will become a daily thing, or at least far more frequent now that I have interwebs [but the great firewall of the Chinese internet blocks Facebook so I won’t be able to upload photos there until I get back].

Cheers!

Oh and my brother requested that the only thing he wanted me to being him back from China was something “Made in America”. I accepted the challenge and have thus far been defeated, but I still have 11 days so there is always hope. I can however, get you Beats headphones for 20 yuan [Less than $5 US].

p.s. Thanks to Mama Kaelin for uploading this since China doesn’t want me to be able to access anything fun [although reddit is allowed here, which is weird], if anything shows up weird on here, it’s her fault not mine.

Dana's Attempt at Blogging: The Sequel

It's happening folks. At 3:30 am this morning, I will begin a trip that will include 20+ hours travel time, a 12 hour time change, and a whole lot of jet lag. At the insistence of my mother and her irrational need to know what is going on every waking moment of my life [just kidding mom, I know you are reading this], I am breaking out the old blog circa 2011 and updating it with my 2.5 weeks in China. For those who don't know, I will be studying integrative veterinary medicine and acupuncture from the place where it all originated. Other than that I quite literally have no idea what else I will be doing since our itinerary is pretty vague, but regardless this will be a once in a lifetime opportunity that I am excited to be a part of!

So here's to another great adventure, and to not catching avian influenza!

Cheers!

Homeward Bound

"If I leave here tomorrow,

would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now.
'Cause there's too many places I've gotta see.
But if I stayed here with you, girl,
things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change"

As they say, all good things must come to an end.  Our adventure in Belize concluded with an exam and presentations in the morning and one last horseback/river tubing ride in the jungle.

Our night was far more eventful.  We went out to dinner with our professors/administrators and went to an awesome Karaoke bar, where we proceeded to make fools out of ourselves by singing American classics such as "That Don't Impress Me Much" and "The Bad Touch".  In an effort to get one last "Slow Tornado" dance in [the most AMAZING Belizian rap song eva] we proceeded to head on over to our favorite hotspot affectionately named "The Marklar Bar" [South Park fans may get the reference].  After a few tequila shots, A LOT of dancing [mostly to Shakira's "Africa"], and some more singing [to Toto's "Africa"] we left around 1:00...to head over to the Casino/lounge.  I guess there really is something to be said about twenty-something year olds' ability to party hard into the night [despite early flights the next morning].  After drinking my weight in water, we finally went to bed to detox and get a few hours sleep.

 

Saturday was filled with bittersweet goodbyes and long plane rides home [in which my family did not even recognize me when I arrived]. 

I had an INCREDIBLE time and I recommend this program to any pre-vet student who wants to study abroad and get animal experience.

School starts in two weeks...*sigh*

Cheers!

A Poke in the Eye

I'm proud to say that there aren't many things that I will not try at least once.  Skydiving?  Sure.  Eat live bugs?  Done it!  While my moral compass doesn't exactly point north, believe it or not I do draw the line somewhere.  Today I realized exactly what that line was, and I can admit that I will not draw blood from a pig.  Why a pig?  Because to make a pig bleed you need to do a blind stick with a 14 gauge needle IN THE CORNER OF THE EYE.

While not much grosses me out [cow butts anyone?] I do feel slightly uncomfortable attempting to stick a needle into the eye of a SCREAMING and flailing  pig without having any clue where the vein I am aiming for is.  Therefore, the majority of us stood back and watched while Dr. T and Dr. Emma [it was her first time doing this too] essentially stuck pins into the eyes of future bacon.

      [I'm pretty sure this is a phobia in humans]

While the vets did what some countries consider as torture, the rest of us less sadistic folk castrated the boars/piglets at the two separate farms we visited.

[Don't start drooling yet, he's only sleeping]

After the pigs, we visited the farm of American veterinarian Jerry Stevens who has lived in Belize for the last 16 years attempting to breed Barbados Black Belly Sheep.  Dr. Stevens taught at NC-State for a little while and helped invent urine culture paddles for urine testing.  We played with his sheep and picked his brains for a while before heading back "home" to finish up our presentations [which we are presenting tomorrow] while watching Gossip Girl [Dr. Emma watched it with us and laughed at our procrastination/multi-tasking skills].

It's my last full day here tomorrow, and after taking our exam and doing presentations, we are going horseback riding one last time before we go out to dinner with all of our professors.

Cheers! [I have to STUDY]

Balls of Steel

WARNING.  GRAPHIC CONTENT.  ALL MALES BE WARNED [proceed at your own risk]

I cut off a lot of balls today.   A LOT.  7 to be exact.  All on unwilling sheep patients.

*I will try to refrain from making ball jokes.  Key word TRY* 

As you can guess, our day started out like most of our early morning farm calls do.  Wake up.  Get Dressed.  Breakfast [french toast today].  Discuss weird dreams [Aubrey had one today.  Something about Elton John on a Unicorn that jumped over a rainbow as soon as my alarm (Tiny Dancer) went off].  Get in Van.  Go EXTREME off-roading to a remote farm in the middle of no where.  Have the van break down on the way there [its been fixed 3 times now].  Arrive at "Middle of NOWHERE" farm.  Get Down and Dirty with some animals. 

Today we were lucky enough to be taken to a farm with over 200 sheep/goats that needed to be dewormed and castrated [but only 20 needed their balls cut off].   

To any woman, castrating is a very straightforward procedure, that when done correctly is very quick with minimal bleeding.  For a male, castration is an excruciating form of torture invented by females to get back at men for every wrong they have committed against their gender [no suffrage until 1920, never asking for directions,  forgetting to put the seat down, etc.].

To castrate a sheep [general anesthesia is NOT used], first the end of the scrotal sac must be removed by pushing the testis upwards and using a scalpel to cut through the skin like so" 

Once you visualize both testicles, pick one to begin with and begin to slice through the tunica layers until it "pops" out of the sac

 [Exposing the Testis]

[Removing testis from tunica layer]

Next, the connective tissue and muscle must be torn from the testicle in order to better expose the spermatic cord, where a zip-tie is attached to act as a ligature.

[Ripping the muscle and connective tissues]

[Pulling out spermatic cord]

Last, an emasculator [we tried to decide if a man or a woman came up with the name] is used to simultaneously crush and cut the testicle to stop bleeding.

[Using the emasculator]

[ALL DONE]

[Knows how to handle balls can be a skill on my resume]

 [Our proud pile of balls]

[Just call us "Nutcrackers" or maybe "Ball Busters"]

After brutally removing the manliness of 20 sheep, we proceeded to stop at a waterfall/lake thing in the jungle to cool off and wash our disgusting, sweaty selves. The rest of the day included tanning by the pool [and then getting rained on], watching some Gossip Girl [Dan and Serina finally hooked up], and making a late night sweet tooth run to Sweet Ting.  However, on our way out of Sweet Ting, one of the single greatest things to happen since I've been here occurred.  Right next store to the bakery is a video store [that we somehow never noticed over these last 4 weeks] that sells films for $2.  We bought the Mel Gibson film Apocolypto which is about Mayans [it is also CRAZY WEIRD, but Chelsea and Aubrey swore it was good].  Although some parts are like a bad acid trip, we saw some cool things in the movie that we learned form various Mayan decedents here [such as using leaf cutter soldier ants as sutures to close a wound].

Its going to be a busy day tomorrow, but somehow we will fit Harry Potter in along with finishing our presentations and studying for the exam Friday...

Cheers!

Insert Poop Joke Here

I wish I could say my day included a lazy ride down the river, some cute animals, and lots of sun. But No.  My day was filled with angry Brahman cows, rain, and lots and lots of shit.

[Sure they look happy NOW...]

It is common knowledge to anyone who has grown up on a ranch or taken an animal science class that one of the ways to determine if a cow is pregnant is rectal palpation.  Yes.  Rectal Palpation.  As in stick your hand in the butt of a cow as far as you can and try to feel the cervix/uterine horns/ovaries through an ocean of feces while the rectal muscles clamp down on your arm until your fingers are numb [jealous yet?].  And don't think these are Happy "I will stand still so you can better violate my ass-hole" Cows.  They are animals that weigh over 1,000 lbs that come charging into a restraining shoot and constantly flail until they are released.  The trick is getting them to stand properly in the shoot to ensure minimal damage is done to the cow as well as the handler.  This was my morning.  Doing pregnancy tests, drawing blood, and giving intramuscular injections of ivermectin/vitamin B to all of the livestock [did I mention there was around 50 cows to do] at Central Farms.   

      [Who said cows aren't terrifying?]

Not only is sticking your hand up a cow's butt an occupational hazard [not to mention something that is regularly shown on Dirty Jobs], but it is also an art form to avoid the fountains of urine, projectile defecation, and whip-like tails that can cover anyone within a 7 foot radius with piss and shit.

  [My future career Ladies and Gentlemen]

Although it was a gross and smelly job, we did learn how to draw blood from the tail of the cow and got a lecture on supplemental feeding of livestock.

When we were done [after scrubbing our hands and arms raw], we took a ride up to Spanish Lookout for lunch.  It's a more progressive area of Belize where they had a legit diner where I FINALLY got a grilled cheese sandwich [with just cheese!].  A day dealing with cows wouldn't be complete without a stop for ice cream where Erika got 2 scoops on a cone and proceeded to lick it so hard that it went toppling to the floor [she was heckled with dirty jokes for the rest of the day].

When we got back "home" Chelsea, Aubrey, Serina, and I decided to try to catch some sun by sitting/swimming in the pool since it had been raining for the last 3-4 days.  As soon as we jumped into the water, the sun disappeared and the rain came pouring down [not that it stopped us from swimming for a while]. 

After dinner we proceeded to watch 3 episodes of Gossip Girl [SO MUCH DRAMA] while wrapping Dr. Emma's hair.

Cheers!

Spicing Things Up

Class started late today [9:30] and we only had a few lectures to cover before we were done for the day.  Dr. Emma talked about careers in veterinary medicine and the need to go beyond clinical practice by pursuing things such as environmental medicine [to study disease of populations], and biomedical research [to help doctors and pharmaceutical companies develop new drugs etc.].  We also discussed reproduction and biosecurity [it was mostly review for me].

Lucky for us, we had a free afternoon to go river tubing through the jungle.  Unfortunately, Mother Nature had other plans [this IS the rainy season here in Belize] and forced us to take an impromptu trip to one of the more expensive gift shops in Cayo.  While I wanted to buy practically everything, I practiced self restraint and only purchased a gift for the Fun Nazi, I mean my mother [I forgot to mention that I bought a Hammock while I was at Xunantinich. It will look so sweet next to my Empire Strikes Back poster].

On the way back to the lodge, we decided to stop off at one of the local hot sauce factories to check out some of the flavors for sale.  They had some cool tasting things to sample [Habanero Peper Fudge Anyone?] and had some really good tasting honey.  We convinced Hot Sauce to have a photo shoot in front of the signs or else we would be sad and despondent forever.

[Where Hot Sauces are born and raised]

One final stop at Sweet Ting [don't judge us] to pick up cake [Chocolate Mint Creme], and we headed back "home" for dinner.  While we swore we would only watch ONE episode of Gossip Girl before we worked on our projects, we ended up watching two [we would have watched three if Hot Sauce didn't kick us out of the room].  I'm doing my final presentation on Foot and Mouth Disease-a virus that causes blisters in the mouth, tongue, teats, and feet that eventually burst causing excessive drooling and inability to stand correctly [there feet become extremely painful so they sway from side to side or lie down].  There was a major epidemic in the UK in 2001 where the agriculture industry was nearly destroyed [the virus is EXTREMELY contagious].  The only way to prevent the spread of disease is to burn the carcass of the dead animal, making the English term 2001 as the year of the pyre.

[Burning FMD cow carcasses.  Looks like something out of 28 Days Later]

Tomorrow we are off to Central Farms to practice rectal palpation [aka sticking your hand up a cow's butt] and get lectured on Large Animal nutrition. 

Cheers!